Boundaries from the Inside Out

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IN THIS ISSUE

Fast Focus
Open for Business: Boundaries from the Inside Out
Live Movie Talk with Author Dan Pink [Free]
Yikes! The New Leaf Gets Hoaxed
The Bedside Table
Coaching Resources
Appearances
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1. FAST FOCUS: INVEST IN YOURSELF
No matter what your definition of success: a warm family life, a new job, or changing the world, in order to get there you must invest in yourself.

Only you can choose what to say yes to each day. Make sure you are saying yes to those things that nourish your spirit, fuel your enthusiasm, and support your vision. Say yes, and invest in yourself.

------------- YOU CAN LOVE MARKETING --------------
Is distaste for marketing keeping you from doing your best work and thriving? In as little as one hour with Authentic Promotion® tapes and teleclasses you can discover how marketing can feed your soul as well as your bank account. How would your life change if self-promotion served your life purpose? Three one-hour courses available in teleclass or audiotape format. Details here.

-----*****-----*****-----*****-----*****-----*****-----

2. OPEN FOR BUSINESS: BOUNDARIES FROM THE INSIDE OUT
Healthy boundaries are essential for a healthy business. That sounds true, but what does it mean? What do healthy boundaries look like, and how can you know where and how to set them?

I notice a tendency among small business owners and free agents to think of boundaries as ways to keep something or someone out. This emphasizes protection of their time, energy, and resources. This kind of boundary is a line in the sand. When a customer, colleague, or vendor crosses the line, an alarm goes off, signaling the business owner to say "No."

Because most owners want their businesses to be accessible and to offer excellent service, they are naturally conservative in setting this sort of boundary. After all, they want to say, "Welcome" to prospective customers and partners, not "Keep Out." As a result, they set boundaries at the last possible point to keep invaders at bay.

I've done this, by the way, so I know of what I speak. I know how confining this sort of boundary can be. There is no room to move. There is barely room to breathe. The longer this boundary stays in place --even if no one ever tries to cross it--the more confined, cramped, and edgy those inside the boundary will be.

After working inside this boundary for a while, it is natural to become impatient, cranky, even resentful. It is uncomfortable inside this boundary, and it feels as though this is the fault of those pushy customers, colleagues, and vendors out there. After all, if it weren't for THEM, you'd be out in the fresh air.

But wait--a client is not an invader. A vendor is not a spy. A business is not a castle on a hill, placed there for strategic advantage against enemy forces. Let's take a big breath and take another look at this business of boundaries.

What if boundaries were not last-ditch protections against marauders? What if they were lovely, sturdy fences defining a spacious and resource-rich territory in which you can do your best work? What if boundaries created a pasture rather than enclosing a cell?

Further, what if boundaries were designed to let in light and air? What if you could see out and others could see in? Working inside of these boundaries is quite a different experience. For one thing, there is plenty of room to move. When someone approaches your boundary, you have lots of choices about how to respond.

Maintaining these boundaries feels entirely different, too. With what pride of ownership and delight in the scope of our pasture we walk the fence line. How pleasing it is to oil the latches on the gates, to replace broken posts, to trim the hedges.

Check in with your boundaries this week. First, notice what constitute the fence posts and gates in your business. Are they the hours that you work? The rates you charge? The terms you offer for special services? Get familiar with the structural elements you can use to build your beautiful fence and gate.

When you've identified those elements, look at where you've placed them. Do your rates give you room to do your best work? Do your working arrangements give you breathing space? Examine your boundaries, and notice if they are giving you room to do your best work or cramping your style. Experiment with moving your boundaries out a bit, not to keep your customers away, but to create a bigger space from which you can serve them wholeheartedly and well.

As always, let me know what you are noticing. What problems or pains are solved (or dissolved) by this approach? What new problems and pains arise?

[This interpretation of boundaries showed up for me when I was speaking last month at a Free Agent Event in Bellevue, WA. I developed it more for a break out session for the American Medical Writers in Seattle, and it's now a part of my teleclass and audiotape, "Settle for More." Details here.

3. LIVE MOVIE TALK WITH AUTHOR DAN PINK [FREE]
In "Free Agent Nation, the Future of Working for Yourself," author Dan Pink compares two movies, "Man in the Gray Flannel Suit" and "Jerry Maguire," that illustrate the changing nature of work. I loved this part of the book, and I've invited Dan to join me and "New Leaf" readers in a free one-hour telephone discussion of these films and how they depict the realities of working for yourself.

Long story short, Dan said "YES!", and our Movie Talk is set for Monday, July 15th, from 4 to 5 PM Eastern time.

Here's how to participate:

Watch both videos. They're available for rent or purchase at major video outlets in the US.
Register for the teleconference by sending a blank email to movietalk@mollygordon.com . You'll receive a confirmation message with the bridge number. About a week before the call you receive a reminder and highlights of the call to help orient you to the discussion.

Not sure how teleconferences work? Send a blank email to mailto:telehelp@mollygordon.com.

Rental links for your convenience (I have no business relationships with these companies):

Purchase links:

And don't forget to read the book! The hardcover edition of "Free Agent Nation" is available at Amazon for only $5.99.

The paperback edition ($10.47) includes a new resource guide.

4. YIKES! THE NEW LEAF GETS HOAXED
After all my grousing about viruses and hoaxes, I fell for a hoax about viruses and printed it in last week's The New Leaf ™. Here's the scoop about that address book trick, along with a deep bow of apology. I will never, ever print another "tip" without checking it out. Promise!

"The message circulating that you can protect against email-borne viruses by adding a contact with the name "!0000" and no email address or your own email address is a hoax. The technique does not protect you. For one thing, adding a contact with no email address ensures that the contact does not appear in the Outlook Address Book at all, so the virus would never see it. Adding your own address just means you'll get a copy of whatever message the virus sends -- if it uses the address book. However, viruses don't need to bother with address books. Some of the latest harvest addresses from other sources on your system, such as cached web pages."

See Virus Myths or SlipStick for more information.

5. THE BEDSIDE TABLE
This week, two perennial favorites:

"The Path of Least Resistance," by Robert Fritz, is the best book I have read on how to apply the creative process to creating your life.

An excellent book on how to know what you want and ask for it is "The Aladdin Factor," by Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen.

Searching for a book or CD or other product on Amazon? When you use these links to Amazon search engines you support The New Leaf ™. Please visit and bookmark them today. Search US Search UK

6. COACHING RESOURCES
I've asked some of my favorite coaches with varying niches to tell me about their practices, their gifts, their ideal clients. For a copy of their responses and contact info, send a blank email to referrals@mollygordon.co.

I joined Coachville because I always learn from what its founder, Thomas Leonard, does and from my own reactions (sometimes critical) to his initiatives. The lifetime membership is only $79, and for that you get ready access to hundreds of tools for delivering and marketing coaching including the "Full Practice" email course.

7. APPEARANCES
This year my keynotes and workshops will inspire, motivate, and equip at least three thousand people to create purposeful prosperity. Will your organization be hosting one of these events? Phone me at 360-697-7022 or email me at molly@mollygordon.com to discuss a special event for your group.

Telephone Space, 11 PM EST, June 24, 2002. I'm proud to be one of 24 coaches leading one-hour teleclasses in the International Coach Federation's Practice Building Marathon June 24-25. For details, contact your local ICF Chapter.

Santa Fe, New Mexico. November 6, 2002.
Design with Heart, Keynote Address.

U.S. Library of Congress ISSN: 1530-311X.

You may reprint or copy or distribute The New Leaf ™ provided this copyright notice and a link to http://www.mollygordon.com is included.

Thank you for supporting The New Leaf ™ by using our links to affiliate sites. My recommendations are based on my personal experience with and enthusiasm for the named entity. I do earn commissions on sales through some affiliate programs. In every case, I believe that the value they provide is well worth the investment. If you are ever disappointed by a transaction with one of my affiliates, please let me know.

THE NEW LEAF™

The Official Newsletter of Authentic Promotion®

Volume 4, No. 24, June 17, 2002

IN THIS ISSUE