Breakdown and Breakthrough

Article that appeared in The New Leaf ™.

It feels important to share that for several weeks I have been experiencing one of the less comfortable parts of the cycle of growth and change. I'm talking about breakdown, the necessary and natural precursor to breakthrough.

One of the transforming aspects of working with a coach is that my coach supports me in the process of breakdown, NOT by trying to fix the breakdown but by acknowledging the feelings I am having and holding me big enough to tolerate the discomfort while I break *through* to new understanding. Coaching helps me stay in the process of breakdown, curbing my tendency to get busy or get numb and thus ensuring that, when I do leave breakdown, it will be with authentic rather than superficial insights.

Another consequence of working with a coach while in breakdown is that it challenges my judgments. As a coach, it is easy for me to see breakdown as a natural part of the cycle of creation-destruction-creation. As a client, however, I sometimes experience breakdown as failure, especially if it goes on for more than one session. My coach doesn't buy into this, and her judgment-free listening and reflecting call me to step out of my attachment to how I am feeling or looking and into commitment to who I am being.

For me, the inevitable shift from breakdown to breakthrough is almost always heralded by this shifting of focus from appearances to fundamentals. What IS my life about, anyway? Who am I trying to impress? Is struggle a good indicator of my sincerity and intention? In the light of these questions I feel something loosen inside and I know that breakthrough is (finally!) at hand.

Next week I'll share more about the nature of breakthrough. Until then, I invite you to allow room in your life to accommodate and honor your own breakdowns and those of the people who are dear to you.