Dealing With Fear and Anxiety:
Principle 1 - F.E.A.R.

Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood.
Marie Curie

Fear and Choice

First and foremost, understand that you always have a choice about how to respond to and deal with fear. You can cave into it, struggle with it, accept it, or work around it. You always have a choice, a choice you can make again and again or that you can change based on your assessment of what is best for you.

Redefining F.E.A.R.

Knowing that you have a choice about how to deal with your fears, consider the following reframe. Think of F.E.A.R. as an acronym for Fantasy Expectations Appearing Real. FEAR takes unsupported premises about impending doom, amplifies them, and presents the alleged results as inevitable failure.

I envision unsupported fears as hot air balloons. Once we grab hold of them, we are flung all over the countryside, terrified, out of control, anxious and powerless. Yet we fail to notice that no one forced us to grab onto the balloon in the first place. How would it be to stay put, safe on the ground, while the balloons go off on their merry, scary way?

If this image captures your imagination, play with it. Next time you have a fear attack, imagine a big hot air balloon touching down near you. Notice how tempting it is to grab on (or even to climb into) the basket, and then see yourself deciding to let it go. Watch the balloon careening over the landscape, while you remain, safe and sound, on the ground.

Dealing With Fear: Exercise

Make a list of all of your fears, writing as fast as you can to block the internal censor. Include EVERY fear, however small or irrational. Then read them aloud, suspending judgment. Allow yourself to feel the fear without grabbing onto the hot air balloon. Notice that being afraid does not have to mean losing ground.

If it feels comfortable, share your list with a friend. Before sharing your list, explain that you simply want a witness, that you are playing with how it is to acknowledge your fears without being pulled off center by them. Be clear that you are not asking for help and that you do not need advice. You do not need to be fixed. Ask your friend to simply listen, and to acknowledge you for being conscious of your fears.

Naturally, one of the most powerful ways to deal with the fears or anxiety you experience is to work with a coach either in individual private sessions or as part of a group. My "Doing the Work of Byron Katie" groups are especially effective.
Write to me at mgordonATmollygordon.com to find out more.

Next: Dealing With Fear and Anxiety: Principle 2 - Tapping into Your Body Wisdom

About the Author
Molly Gordon is a Master Certified Coach, who shows accidental entrepreneurs how to manifest the success that is the natural consequence of living their hearts' desires with integrity, authenticity, and passion. Since 1996, she has coached hundreds of clients through personal and professional transformation. Her unique coaching style is informed by her experience as a business owner and artist as well as her lifetime commitment to service and creativity. She is a widely sought after speaker and facilitator.

Molly says:
I support my clients to live lives of meaning and prosperity. Learn more about business coaching and personal growth coaching I offer. When you are ready to transform your life, email me, mgordonATmollygordon.com, to discuss whether coaching is right for you and to see if we are a good fit. Until then, please accept my heartfelt good wishes.

Feel the fear and do it anyway. Susan Jeffers

How to Overcome Fears and Anxiety
by Molly Gordon, MCC

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Business Coach and Personal Growth Coach Molly Gordon
available in Greater Seattle Area and internationally can be reached at:
mgordonATmollygordon.com | Phone: 360.633.4397 | Fax: 206.201.5020

Dealing With Fear and Anxiety: Principle 1 - F.E.A.R.

Dealing With Fear: Exercise

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Dealing With Fear and Anxiety:
Principle 1 - F.E.A.R.