Dealing With Fear and Anxiety:
Principle 1 - F.E.A.R.
Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood.
Fear and Choice
First and foremost, understand that you always have a
choice about how to respond to and deal with fear. You can cave into it,
struggle with it, accept it, or work around it. You always have a choice,
a choice you can make again and again or that you can change based on
your assessment of what is best for you.
Knowing that you have a choice about how to deal with
your fears, consider the following reframe. Think of F.E.A.R. as an acronym
for Fantasy Expectations Appearing Real. FEAR takes unsupported premises
about impending doom, amplifies them, and presents the alleged results
as inevitable failure.
I envision unsupported fears as hot air balloons. Once
we grab hold of them, we are flung all over the countryside, terrified,
out of control, anxious and powerless. Yet we fail to notice that no one
forced us to grab onto the balloon in the first place. How would it be
to stay put, safe on the ground, while the balloons go off on their merry,
If this image captures your imagination, play with it.
Next time you have a fear attack, imagine a big hot air balloon touching
down near you. Notice how tempting it is to grab on (or even to climb
into) the basket, and then see yourself deciding to let it go. Watch the
balloon careening over the landscape, while you remain, safe and sound,
on the ground.
Dealing With Fear: Exercise
Make a list of all of your fears, writing as fast as
you can to block the internal censor. Include EVERY fear, however small
or irrational. Then read them aloud, suspending judgment. Allow yourself
to feel the fear without grabbing onto the hot air balloon. Notice that
being afraid does not have to mean losing ground.
If it feels comfortable, share your list with a friend.
Before sharing your list, explain that you simply want a witness, that
you are playing with how it is to acknowledge your fears without being
pulled off center by them. Be clear that you are not asking for help and
that you do not need advice. You do not need to be fixed. Ask your friend
to simply listen, and to acknowledge you for being conscious of your fears.
Naturally, one of the most powerful ways to deal with
the fears or anxiety you experience is to work with a coach either in
individual private sessions or as part of a group. My "Doing
the Work of Byron Katie" groups are especially effective.
Write to me at mgordonATmollygordon.com to find out more.
Next: Dealing With Fear and
Anxiety: Principle 2 - Tapping into Your Body Wisdom
About the Author
Molly Gordon is a Master Certified Coach,
who shows accidental entrepreneurs how to manifest the success that is
the natural consequence of living their hearts' desires with integrity,
authenticity, and passion. Since 1996, she has coached hundreds of clients
through personal and professional transformation. Her unique coaching
style is informed by her experience as a business owner and artist as
well as her lifetime commitment to service and creativity. She is a widely
sought after speaker and facilitator.
I support my clients to live lives of meaning and prosperity. Learn more
about business coaching and
personal growth coaching
I offer. When you are ready to transform your life, email me, mgordonATmollygordon.com,
to discuss whether coaching is right for you and to see if we are a good
fit. Until then, please accept my heartfelt good wishes.
Feel the fear and do it anyway. Susan Jeffers
How to Overcome Fears and Anxiety
by Molly Gordon, MCC
Table of Contents
Business Coach and Personal Growth
Coach Molly Gordon
available in Greater Seattle Area and internationally can be reached at:
mgordonATmollygordon.com | Phone: 360.633.4397 | Fax: 206.201.5020