A client recently asked me how to deal with frenzied feelings. Here’s what I wrote to her.
Thoughts are just thoughts, no matter what state of mind we are in when we think them. Sometimes we have a tendency to give more weight to thoughts accompanied by intense feelings. We may find it easier to see that mellow feelings are due to our thinking, but tend to attribute intense feelings to our circumstances. But no matter how intense our feelings, we are always reacting to our thoughts, not to our circumstances.
Frenzied thinking/feeling is going to happen. It’s part of being human. When we give it significance, it tends to increase in two ways. First, our thinking gets more an more frenzied as we think about all the reasons we have to feel frenzied. 😉 Second, our behavior when we believe our frenzied feelings tends to generate more confusion and distress.
What to do? Recognize that no matter what our circumstances, we are reacting to thought, and remember that thought is a flow. It is always flowing, moving, morphing, changing. If we don’t grab onto our thinking (argue with it, try to fix it), it will naturally subside.
I have found that my anxious (more common for me than frenzy) feelings have less and less significance for me as time goes on. As a result, they last shorter amounts of time. This creates a lovely feedback loop: the more we detach from anxious feelings, the faster we return to equanimity, the more clearly we think, the smarter we are, the better we behave, and the more likely we are to trust the process by which we naturally regain our equilibrium and peace.
The Wholeness Hangout: Karma, November 14, 2014
My guest for the November Wholeness Hangout is Eric Klein of Wisdom Heart. (www.wisdomheart.com) We’ll be exploring the concept of karma and talking about how it relates to our fundamental wholeness.
Along with being a spiritual teacher, for the past two decades, Eric has been a leading voice in the movement to bring greater spirit, meaning, and authenticity to the workplace through his company Dharma Consulting. He’s worked with over 20,000 leaders from a wide variety of settings: Fortune 500 companies, healthcare, governmental and non-profit organizations as well as mid-size companies.
I hope you will join Eric and me for what promises to be a rich exploration.
WHEN: Friday, November 14, 2014, 9:00-10:00am Pacific Standard Time (USA)
HOW: Watch online and/or phone in.
Need Mentor Coaching for your ICF credential?
A mentor coaching group for applicants for the International Coach Federation’s ACC credential begins November 26th. As a Certified Mentor Coach, a Master Certified Coach, and a member of the International Coach Federation (ICF) assessor team since 2003, I love helping other coaches refine their skills and develop their artistry. Click here for details.