Good Lord! Taco Bell in San Miguel

by | Oct 10, 2007

The idea is almost laughable, but it’s true. Taco Bell is coming to Mexico.

“We believe the people of Mexico deserve access to the spicy, grilled, melty, crunchy taste of Taco Bell, whether they like it or not,” said Chad Finnster, a Yum brands spokesman. “We’re sure they’ll come to find value in our product offerings — particularly at 2 a.m., when other restaurants are closed and the people, suffering from a lack of grilled and melty offerings, find they have the munchies. We’re confident our strategy, based around ecumenical concepts such as “Fourthmeal” and the quasi-creative use of industrially-produced foodstuffs, will prove as successful in Mexico as it has in America.”

The italics are mine.
People “suffering” from the lack of “grilled and melty” food?
Ecumenical concepts?
Quasi-creative use of industrially-produced foodstuffs?
Forget about debating globalization. These folks should be penalized for sheer idiocy, not to mention obfuscation and criminally mixed metaphors. Of course, if we penalized folks for mixed metaphors, I’d be serving the longest sentence of all…