How Much Should You Give Away?

by | Jul 29, 2013

free_advice_help_2013How much of your time and energy should you give away in the interests of building your network and generating new business? Is it possible to give too much? Here’s what I’ve noticed over the past umpteen years. (17 as a coach, but who’s counting?)

I notice that I usually feel energized when I get to be a resource for inspiration, information or motivation. What works for me is to notice these opportunities as just that–opportunities, not demands–and to respond according to the time, energy and interest that I have at the moment as well as my expectations of how I will receive energy in return.

Sometimes this means that I give lots of help, knowing that I will benefit by the experience of articulating what I know, by the exchange of energy and good will, or by the opportunity to extend my network. Sometimes I give brief (even verging on curt) responses when I feel I can help, but I don’t have heaps of time to do it in.

If I feel like I need a more tangible return in order to feel good about giving, then I ask for it, either by asking about the questioners’ intentions and purpose or referring them to one of my free or for-fee services (website, class, group coaching). The important thing for me is to give what I can give freely and not worry about the rest.

I trust my whims on this. I have been the beneficiary of many unlooked for referrals and have received plenty of generous assistance from others without strings attached. From this I know that the quid pro quo of balancing energy out and energy in is not linear or obvious. So I tend to go in the direction of what feels good, and I  tend to avoid doing anything that will cause me to feel resentful, no matter how great the theoretical return may be. That’s what works, so that’s what’s right for me.

One last piece. What feels right comes to us when we are in a peaceful space of good feeling. It doesn’t come from analysis. It’s not a matter of figuring out the pros and cons. So if you are stuck about what to give or not give, take a break from thinking about it. Do something else and revisit the question when you are in a peaceful space of good feeling.

Then trust yourself, because when you do, you really can’t lose.

Hang out with Michael Neill and me free

Today bestselling author Michael Neill and I are exploring the inside-out nature of success and happiness in a Google Hangout on Air, and you’re invited. It’s free, and there is no sign up required.

Michael’s new book, The Inside Out Revolution, shares an extraordinary new understanding of how life works that turns traditional psychology on its head. This revolutionary approach is built around three simple principles that explain where our feelings come from and how our experience of life can transform for the better in a matter of moments.

Understanding these principles allows you to tap into the deeper intelligence behind life, access your natural wisdom and guidance, and unleash your limitless creative power. You’ll be able to live with less stress, greater ease, and a sense of connection to the larger unfolding of life.

Event Details (No Sign Up Required!)

DATE: Tuesday, July 30, 2013
TIME: 9:00am Pacific Daylight Time (one hour earlier than previously announced)
WHERE: Google Hangout on Air.

To participate, click this link. The Hangout will begin broadcasting at or shortly after 9:00am PDT. It’s a new technology to me, so it may take an extra minute or two to get things moving.

What is a Hangout on Air?

A Hangout on Air is a videoconference that is broadcast live via YouTube. When you go to the Event Page on Google+, you will see the YouTube broadcast in a window. You’ll be able to ask questions, comment, and share insights by posting comments on the same page. Again, the link to that page is

Get the Book

See the sidebar for a snapshot of what others are saying about Michael’s book. Meanwhile, click the link below to get a copy.

Join the Three Principles Email List

No sign-up is required to participate in the Hangout. That said, if you would like to receive notices of future Three Principles programming, you can join the email list here.
Photo Credit: Pat Castaldo via Flickr