Why Doesn’t Money Behave?

by | Aug 13, 2012

cute dog

Have you ever come to a sticking point around money and said to yourself, “Why don’t I have this figured out yet?”

Perhaps you’ve done your homework, learned about money and how to manage it, but as soon as you get ahead, something happens, and you are right back where you started. What’s up with that?

There’s a simple answer. You are a human being, not a human been. If you were a human been, then all the work you’ve done in the past would be more than adequate to transform your relationship with money. Everything you’ve learned would stay learned. Everything you’ve saved would stay saved.

Attaining wealth is like attaining fitness. If you were a human been, you could work out until you attained the precise degree of buffness you need to feel fabulous without getting vertigo (most of us can only tolerate so much perfection before we get dizzy), and your body would stay fit. Been there, done that, don’t worry, be happy.

But you are a human being. The good news is that everyday, every moment, is a beginning. Nothing that has gone before can hold a candle to the relevance of this precise moment in time. But because of that, nothing in your life holds still. Nothing “behaves.” Not your hair, not your dog, not your significant other or your boss. (Especially when your boss is you!) And not your bank account.

Your relationship with money is reborn every moment If you’ve been trying to get a handle on money, trying to rope it in, tie it down, and saddle-break it, you have another thing coming.

If you suffer over having money or not having money, spending money or not spending money, earning more or earning less than your friends, stop wrestling and start relating to money in the here and now. No matter how much or little you have or want, your relationship with money can be a source of creativity, freedom, and well-being.

Three ways to reconnect with your human-beingness around money

While you can work on many aspects to your relationship with money, here are three things you can do right now to reclaim your human-beingness.

  1.  Forgive. Forgiveness is deciding to let go of your story of the past. It means dropping your attachment to what happened, why it happened, and who or what is to blame.
    Make a list of hangups you’ve had and mistakes you’ve made around money. One by one reflect for a moment on how it has been for you to carry that around. Then write out your decision to let go and forgive everything and everyone associated with what happened. Finally, read your decisions out loud.
  2. Define and decide. Reclaim your right to decide what wealth is. You are 100% in charge of what it means to you. What does true wellbeing look like? How would it be to drop other people’s ideas of how much money you should or shouldn’t have? Define wellbeing in all dimensions, then make a decision to cultivate that one day at a time.
  3. Practice gratitude. You’ve heard it before. Gratitude is healing. Gratitude renews and reinforces your wellbeing. And gratitude reorients you toward possibilities and opportunities that you’d otherwise overlook.

Start or resume a gratitude journal. Write in it every day, naming at least three things you are grateful for in the here and now.

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Money problems are outward symptoms of inner conflict. When you are at war with some part of yourself, you can’t ask for, receive, or create wealth. And even when you have what you need, you feel chronically insecure.

In the 2014 Authentic Wealth Virtual Retreat you’ll clarify what you want from money and what money needs from you. You’ll re-write the story of you and wealth. And you’ll restore that relationship to integrity and wholeness.

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